Shalom to all who enter.

Tag Archives: musings

 

I am running as fast as I can on the road that goes nowhere.

The Cheshire Cat lied as he smiled at me and said

If I ran long enough I’d get somewhere.

In this land where things are not what they seem to be,

I have forgotten who I am and where I am going.

 

 

If I don’t know who I am, then where do I go with all my running.

Who am I? A product of chance and the sod?

A dispensable taxi for disdainful DNA?

Does my life have meaning and purpose?

Or do I live to just pass DNA on?

Dust to dust, sending forth seed and then I am done?

If that’s all I am, then why do I run?

Why do I dream the impossible dream

Or try to reach the unreachable star?

But, what if the other story were true,At rest

That I am the child of the Most High God,

Named and treasured, loved and cherished,

Nothing random about me at all?

Is it that the impossible dream, the unreachable star

Is found in the place of rest within My Creator’s heart?


Secret Gardens

Secret Gardens

Why do I feel like I want to walk in a garden

Draw in the elusive fragrance of dew soaked earth

Haunting perfumes of fresh open buds

Wisping and weaving intangible rainbows

Blown in on teasing zephyrs

Caressing and lifiting the locks for a careless moment

Light as a butterfly

Then drifting on to invigorate another weary heart.

Today my heart rebels against being in a concrete jungle. True, as I look out of my windows I see more greenery and flowers than most urbanites are privileged to see. True, in my life I have been privileged than many people to visit beautiful gardens. I am trying hard to be satisfied. I am trying hard to be grateful. I am trying hard to be contented.

Whispers of past gardens

Steal out of dusty memory boxes

Stored sunshine and smiles

Teasingly tweak the toes of discontent

And ruffle longings awake.

Gardens…

Eden – perfect, complete, perfect shalom

Flaming swords blocking the path

Lonely longing.

Nebuchadnezzar’s famed hanging gardens

Pride, pleasure-seeking, luxury

Cloaking bitter oppression and tyranny.

Gethsemane – sleeping friends,

Gnarled olive trees bear mute witness

Drops of blood, a gut-wrenching act of worship

Father, Your will…

The garden of tombs, a stone rolled away

An empty tomb, a weeping woman

A Saviour who pauses and turns

To comfort, for in the heart of a worshipper

He found a garden

To delight and refresh His heart.

One thing I love about Munich is its hidden gardens. When one walks down the streets, it often seems one is walking past continuous blocks of buildings, without even a gap to separate them. Quite dull, regular and boring. Till the summer showers arrive. Then suddenly the air is full of elusive perfumes of flowers and herbs. In the beginning I was really puzzled how that could be since there was not a single flower in sight. Then I discovered that those sternly beautiful facades hid courtyards which housed lawns and gardens. Private. Hidden. For the secret pleasure and delight of the residents. Others are shut out. Till the rain and breezes reveal the hidden gardens beguiling and delighting the passerby.

Sanctified. Set apart. Consecrated. For the Master alone. Yet perfume spills forth to bless others.

My bride, my very own, you are a garden, a fountain closed off to all others.

Let the north wind blow, the south wind too!

Let them spread the aroma of my garden, so the one I love may enter and taste its delicious fruits.

Song of Solomon 4:12, 16


Writing and dreaming

Weaving and screening

Hope

Despair

Inward searches

Word bricks

Tower of Babel

Is it enough that I speak that which I can understand myself

Does it make sense to speak when no one else can?

Caught in a bubble that will not burst

Why do words mean what they mean?

Would thoughts matter if words don’t?

In the beginning was the Word

And the Word was with God

And the Word was God.

Slicing through the static and chaos of colliding waves

Came the pure, true words

‘Let there be…’

Light shone out of darkness,

Life came forth out of nothing,

A breath-filled fistful of clay

Took shape, moved, thought his first thought

Uttered his first word.

I wonder what his first word was…

My daughter’s first meaningful word was ‘Dada’

An imperious command

For her dad to stop in his tracks

And turn to her.

Did Adam cry out ‘Dada?’

Did God stop and smile and whisper,

‘Yes, that’s good!’

By the word of the LORD the heavens were made, and by the breath of his mouth all their host. Ps 33:6 


Fallow ground

Fertile ground yet harvestless

Resting replete with memories of past harvests

Resting in hope of harvests to come

Resting in liminal purposelessness

Verdured with indiscriminate seed:

Weeds, thorns and grasses flourish

Here and there seed from harvests gone by

Push through the choking crowds

With ragged pride to deny any thought that this is abandoned ground.

Break up your fallow ground, and sow not among thorns.

Jeremiah 4:3


Trapped in a darkness that hides each shape and form

How can I take a step forward?

How far is the wall up ahead?

Is there a wrinkle or fold over which I might stumble?

What snares lie before me?

I don’t know.

I don’t like the not-knowing,

The helpless feeling of no-control.

Stripped of all confidence

I feel each step forward

How do I know I have reached my destination,

Or strayed off the path into a dead-end?

My Father in heaven, He sees me.

He knows every trembling, hesitant step.

He feels the doubtful groping

And He draws closer than ever before,

His whisper breaks the hypnotic trance of my fears.

He sees me, He does not despise the weakness within me.

He holds me gently by the hand,

And He speaks His words of comfort and instruction

And leads me line upon line

Precept upon precept, along a path I do not know,

But ‘tis a path made bright by His Truth.

He enlarges my steps underneath me

And makes the rough places smooth.

My trembling heart is learning to trust Him,

To lean on His mighty arm,

To wait each moment upon Him

To find new strength each day in His love.

 

Then I will lead the blind along a path they never knew to places where they have never been before. I will change darkness into light for them. I will make the rough ground smooth. I will do these things for them; I will not abandon my people. Isa 42:16

 Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved? … Song of Songs 8:5

 Major learning through the last year:

  • God does not despise me for not knowing the way. Nor is He impatient with my ‘blindness’
  • God speaks. ALWAYS!!!!! He is never, never, ever silent. The only problem is that He does not give me the answers I want to hear, because I want quick fix solutions, I want to know the last page of the story. Hehehehe… I want to know where I am going so I can feel I am in control.
  • God however is interested in the journey, in making sure each step I take is sure-footed and in the right path.
  • God delights to guide me and lead me and lend me His arm.


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